


Phases

by jophiares



Category: Code Geass
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Sorry Gino..., Trans Lelouch, Unrequited, Unresolved Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:55:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28633611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jophiares/pseuds/jophiares
Summary: They were playing a waiting game. Neither side won.Sequel to Middle of the Night.
Relationships: Kururugi Suzaku/Gino Weinberg, Kururugi Suzaku/Lelouch Lamperouge | Lelouch vi Britannia
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	Phases

It's been two weeks and Lelouch hasn't called him. Figures.

What's annoying is that Lelouch isn't talking to him at all. No side long glances during classes, no code discussions in the hallway, nothing.

Meanwhile Suzaku continues to stare the boy down, vividly remembering both the way his lips burned after Lelouch kissed him and the way his skin  _ still _ burns at the memory of Lelouch's touch. Nothing's changed. If anything, things got worse after that night.

_ You got me, you got me _ .

Suzaku knew Lelouch though, so he knew the raven would crack eventually. It was a major pain, how everything with him was a literal waiting game, but trying to rush him into action would only push him further away.

So he just did as any other college student with a crush did: finished his classwork and yearned in silence.

-

An incessant buzzing dragged Suzaku out of his sleep. Who the hell was calling him right now? It was a number he didn't recognize. Readying his lips to release a stream of curses, he unlocks his phone.

“Come outside.”

Lelouch.

"It's four in the morning." Suzaku growled. Lelouch answered with silence.

His jaw shuts audibly and he scrambles to put on something more presentable than his pajamas, all the while damning himself for being at Lelouch's beck and call.

-

It had only gotten colder since then, and there was frost on the grass outside. The sun still had a few hours before it rose, so the night was dyed in a soft violet. Not too different from the color of Lelouch's eyes, Suzaku thought, rubbing his hands together before shoving them back into the pockets of his hoodie. Lelouch stood motionless on the sidewalk, eyes following the few cars that passed by. His ears and cheeks were pink from the cold, and Suzaku's heart clenched at the sight of how the boy's scarf engulfed him.

He stopped a few feet before Lelouch and stared at him. Lelouch wordlessly stared back. A whole minute passed and Suzaku began to turn his heel to leave right as Lelouch finally opened his mouth.

"Walk with me."

It's an order. Suzaku glares at him, and Lelouch tips his chin up. The brunette sighs and begins walking closer to the taller boy. As always, Lelouch leads and Suzaku follows. The walk is quiet and they end up at some remote corner of the campus, hidden by trees. A forest.

How nostalgic.

Maybe he'd find an answer in the trees now, he sighed, letting his breath settle around him. Instead of an answer, he felt the soft touch of Lelouch's cold hands along his jaw pull him out of his reverie while warm lips completely destroyed his train of thought.

Lelouch was kissing him.

Suzaku reared back, burned. His breath was shallow, and he was reduced to tingling lips and a blush high on his cheeks. Lelouch leaned forward once more, testing the waters, and Suzaku boiled with rage at the  _ gall _ of it all.

"Use your fucking words, you stupid pretty boy." He pushes him back with more force than he means to, knowing full well that Lelouch is as light as a feather, and the boy stumbles back more than a couple of feet. "I won't let you do this until you say exactly what you want from me."  _ Fucking prick _ , Suzaku thought.

The brunette wipes his mouth with the back of his sleeve, and something in Lelouch's expression tenses. "How'd you get my number anyways?" Lelouch is staring at him, pretty features softly distorted in disbelief before straightening up and schooling his features, dusting off his chest from where Suzaku pushed him. "School directory." Lelouch answers dryly.

Suzaku scoffs.

Lelouch doesn't say anything else and Suzaku swears he sees red. He couldn't believe this. He couldn't believe Lelouch.

"Was this all you wanted? A hookup? After everything that-"  _ Has happened between us _ . The words die in Suzaku’s mouth. Summers of Lelouch pressing kisses into Suzaku's hands, still too shy, too adolescent and sweet to kiss him on his lips. Whispered promises under starry nights. Eyes full of emotions that both of them were too young to name. It was nothing like the way they were looking at each other right now, eyes swirling with vitriol and disillusionment. His throat starts closing up and the back of his eyes burn.  _ Damn him _ , he thinks again. Suzaku takes a hard look at Lelouch, and the boy has the decency to look cornered, apologetic even. It sickens him, and Suzaku's face falls into that apathetic mask he had mastered for their duet act. "Actually, don't bother answering. I don't care. Don't call me again, Lelouch."

Suzaku walks off without another word, tears both warming and chilling him as they roll down his cheeks. He was tired of pretending.

-

Three more weeks have passed, and Lelouch has stuck to his word for once.

The boy was skipping his lectures. While Suzaku did think that was a bit much, he knew full well if he were to see the smallest snippet of Lelouch it would destroy him. He'd never admit it, but for once he was grateful for Lelouch's bad habits.

He's never paid better attention in class and his professors congratulated him on his rising scores. Maybe he was more hung up over Lelouch than he thought.

-

It's been six weeks. The memory of Lelouch's kiss has become hazy with how many times Suzaku has recalled it.

This was for the best...

This is for the best.

-

On the eighth week, Gino drags him to another party.

Scanning the crowd once, he doesn't see the raven and he lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding.

"I'll go get us drinks, yeah?" Gino smirked at him, eyes sharp.

"Yeah, thanks." Suzaku smiled back and Gino hovered for a moment before running off to the bar. This house was just as huge as the last one. He'll never get used to these rich college kids and their rich college kid house parties.

He leaned against the wall, eyes curious and warm as he watched strangers laugh and move about on the dancefloor. His thoughts soon betray him, remembering when he was thirteen and Lelouch offered to teach him how to dance. He's lost in the memory of Lelouch's soft smile when he placed his hand in Suzaku's own, the way they fit together like puzzle pieces, and the sound of Lelouch's true laughter when Suzaku unsuccessfully dipped him for a kiss.

He was staring a hole into the floor, and when he looked back up, evergreen locked on violet. Lelouch was standing by the opposite wall, alone, hand twitching at his side. Suzaku felt his throat go dry. Merely thinking of him summoned him like a phantasm.

Lelouch had been waiting for him to meet their eyes, and Suzaku’s stomach churned. He can tell with how the boy fidgets his fingers, as if playing an invisible piano. There's something indescribably sad in those amethysts of his, and the boy runs two fingers down the curve of his ear, just like that night.

_ Meet me outside. _

In that moment, Gino returns with their drinks and Suzaku looks away from Lelouch, focus drawn to the movement of Gino's lips. Gino notices with a smirk and looks down at Suzaku's own lips, smiling and nosing against his cheek in invitation. Before he leans up to the taller blond, he spares a look back to that spot on the wall.

Lelouch is gone.

Suzaku kisses Gino.

-

By the tenth week, he's replaced the burn of Lelouch's hands on his skin with Gino's kisses. The blond is nothing less than eager to provide for him, whether it be his nurturing hand or his skillful mouth. If he's honest, he's not really sure if they are dating. Suzaku can't seem to care too much though, instead relishing in the fact that for once, he's free from Lelouch's grasp.

That being said, he doesn't know better to not look for a hint violet in that soft shade of baby blue.

-

On the twelfth week, Lelouch shows up at his place unannounced. Suzaku knows better than to let him in, but the boy had finally cracked. The waiting game was over, and neither of them won.

Suzaku steps aside to let him in and locks the door behind him. When he finally looks at Lelouch he looks dull, a far cry from the warm soul that lives permanently in Suzaku's heart.

"Suzaku," the boy whispers, unable to look at the brunette. "I've missed you." Suzaku sucks in a breath so deep that it hurts.

"I've missed you," he repeats and Suzaku can hear the way his voice breaks. He hears his own heart break just the same.

"I hate you. I hate how you do this so easily." Suzaku hisses under his breath.  _ I've missed you too, so much. _ He can't bring himself to say it. But Suzaku's body has always been much more honest than his mouth, and before he knows it, he's pulling Lelouch into his arms.

Lelouch wastes no time burying himself into Suzaku, hands clenching tight around the fabric of his shirt. Suzaku can only sigh, reshaping the lungs and ribs in his chest to make space for the boy.

_ Welcome home _ .

-

Lelouch spends the night and nothing happens. No heart to heart, no kissing, no sex. He just falls asleep in Suzaku's embrace like it's nothing, like he's always belonged there.

He always has. It pisses Suzaku off.

Yet with all that anger and grief that had stewed for the past few months, Suzaku doesn't have the heart to wake him up and demand answers, not yet at least. For now he just lets Lelouch use his body like a pillow and strokes calloused fingers through silky black hair.

He ends up falling asleep too.

-

Suzaku wakes up to violet eyes above him, warm and soft. Suzaku thinks he’s dreaming but his hands touch Lelouch’s cheek and he is real, made of flesh and blood. “Good morning,” he whispers, cupping Suzaku’s jaw with a trembling hand. He worries his brow. “We have a lot to talk about.”

“We do,” Suzaku answers.

-

The thirteenth week is spent conversing and learning, unlearning and apologizing. They hadn’t seen each other since they were fourteen, much less spoken to one another, and as twenty year olds it makes sense that they aren’t the same people they were as kids. Now there’s a weight on their shoulders, a light grey film that dulls the shine of their eyes.

Suzaku lets his anger simmer on the back burner as Lelouch explains himself. It's not an excuse, but hearing the truth from him helps. Lelouch listens to him too, as patiently as he always has. It’s nice to have this again, this small comfort.

He also surprisingly doesn’t cry when Lelouch intertwines their fingers together and looks at him to say “I’m sorry it took so long for me to come back to you.”

“I was an idiot, and so were you,” Lelouch pauses, ever the prideful bastard, “but I was the bigger idiot…” Suzaku nods in agreement, restraining the need to roll his eyes.. “I made things complicated because I had decided to act impulsively while simultaneously forgetting that you are my one and only best friend,” Lelouch’s voice shakes and Suzaku closes his eyes to stop tears from forming. He can’t see but he feels that unmistakable weight of Lelouch’s gaze on him. "The most important person in my life."

Suzaku's chest was lit aflame.

“I meant it,” Lelouch swallows, “when I said I wasn’t here for just a fling, even though it seemed that way.” Suzaku does not react. “For that I’m sorry. You don’t have to forgive me, nor do I expect you to.” At that, Suzaku opens his eyes and his sight is struck by Lelouch bathed in the light of the sunrise, glowing pink with puffy eyes. He was never a pretty crier.

Yet Suzaku still found him oh so beautiful.   
  


“But, I want this. I want us to be something. Please,” Suzaku’s breath hitched in his throat. Lelouch let his eyes slide down Suzaku’s face, gaze settling on his parted lips. “Let me show you.”

Lelouch kisses him and the world once again stops.

-

It's not until much later, when their clothes lay abandoned on the floor and their bodies have intertwined countless times that he falls asleep again. He dreams of long blond hair and baby blue eyes.

-

The fourteenth week, Gino finds out. He isn’t mad at him. Suzaku wishes that he was.

"I-" Suzaku's gaze drops. "I'm sorry, Gino."

"It's okay," Suzaku hates how the blond's voice trembles, wet. "Well, it's not. But I get it. I've always known." Blue eyes meet green and Gino flashes him a sad smile.

"You were always looking for something." He licks his lips. "I've always known it wasn't me."

Gino lets go of his hands and turns his back to him. Suzaku silently thanks him with a drop of his head, closing the door behind him when he leaves.

-

By the fifteenth week, things have somewhat sorted themselves out. He and Lelouch were on much better terms now, if the loving sex was any indicator, and Gino has taken his own precautions and decided he needed space. Suzaku would give him all the space he needs.

This morning he finds himself stifling a yawn alongside several other students in the lecture hall. He always gets there early, and it’s a treat to people-watch. Everyone comes in differently, whether it be tired from the night before, pissy with a cup of coffee, or weirdly blissful. But it's not long before Lelouch walks in and he steals the attention of half of the class anyways. He walks slowly up the stairs, legs stretching long as if savoring his own performance. Lelouch pauses before passing his usual seat and making his way to-

"Good morning, Suzaku." He smiles warmly at him, and the brunette can't help but feel winded at the sight. No pretending. He smiles wide as the boy sinks into the seat next to him.

Underneath the table, Lelouch shyly intertwines their fingers. Suzaku thinks it's too early for him to feel like he would explode but his body warms inexplicably at the touch regardless. He feels like he's home. He squeezes Lelouch’s hand.

"Good morning, Lelouch."

**Author's Note:**

> Right as I finished Middle of the Night, I was like Man. I can't just leave that like that. So here's a sequel! Cranked it out a lot faster than I expected but I have been on a roll the last few days. Hope y'all enjoyed the read!
> 
> My twit is @/advriophe if y'all wanna hit me up on there.
> 
> :)


End file.
